Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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