Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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