i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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