Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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