I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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