peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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