His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
