You really coming over, don't trick.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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