Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize