I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
