This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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