you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
