can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
