laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
