exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
