Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
