I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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