on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
