they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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