Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
