There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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