I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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