Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
