from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
