just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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