Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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