so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
