How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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