pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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