I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
only you would photoshop your dick
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
