just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
