His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
