Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
