He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
