I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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