Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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