We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
