It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
