KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
