So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
