I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This house was built for laser tag.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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