every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
