honey bunches of taint.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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