I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
