I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
