You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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