im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
