She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
