Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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