hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
