I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
